Worth Loving You
Who has time for ideations of love and intimacy? Absurdity. I like my life, it’s hard but it’s easy, at the same time. Let no one in, no one can hurt me.
So why did I buckle so goddamn easily for Milo Pampinella? A little charm, a few pretty red flags, and I was throwing myself at him, ignoring everything to have him keep showering me with affection.
Switching one set of hardships for another to be his favorite lover, I find myself in over my head and incapable of leaving without risking my life. Trapped in a life I both adore and hate, I find solace in a relationship that can get everyone killed if discovered.
Once you’re in this life, the only way out is through a eulogy. I’m just doing the best I can while my heart is split in half.
Worth Risking It
Diving headfirst into a full-blown affair, I found it rather easy to live a double life. The lies and pretense far too easy, life fell into a pretty smooth routine. My wonderful, charismatic Milo whenever he was home, and when he wasn’t, my overpowering, sexy Daddy.
What I never expected, however, was to fall so hopelessly in love with Wyatt. How could my heart do this to me? How could it adore two men so effortlessly?
My entire life, I’d dreamed of the day I’d have a gorgeous man who worshipped me unconditionally. Now I had two, but no idea what to do next. In my gut, I knew which man I belonged with. Unfortunately, fate stepped in and chose a different path. Now I could do nothing but sit back, cut my losses, and play the hand that was dealt.
Worth Dying For
After years of playing my odds, pushing boundaries, and doing as I pleased, all my sins have caught up to me. My marriage is ripped apart, and my beautiful baby girl no longer looks at me the same. Cringing at my touch, I find myself helpless for the first time, unsure how to react or change any circumstances.
So, I give in to the confusion and become a stranger, a monster, someone I am so ashamed of, I have to destroy any reflective surface in the house, just to avoid my own image.
My utopia is destroyed, and I have no one to blame but myself. Everything comes back around, and now I am stuck in purgatory forever with no happiness in sight and the only person left who loves me, makes me sick with shame. This is the hell I deserve.